oh, day care

In May of last year, I landed the best job ever. I actually look forward to going to work most days. This has never been the case before. In June of last year, I suspected I was pregnant. A trip to the doctor resulted in a negative test. It was both a let-down and a relief. A new job and a new baby? Maybe not the best combination. By July, I figured I was pregnant or something was wrong. Pregnant, as it turned out.

And now, as we head down the road to parenthood, we also head down the road to day care. I never went to day care myself; my mom stayed at home and I always wanted to do the same. Nathan, on the other hand, grew up going to several day cares and sitters. When I hear about how often they had to find a new place or person to watch him and his brother, I think, “Nightmare! I don’t want to be doing that for the next 10 to 12 years! I want to raise my own children!”

However.

I have to realize that Nathan and his brother (and parents) survived the day care ordeal. I’ve also had to realize that I don’t really want to give up my job if I don’t have to give it up. So, I’ve been looking into day cares.

Day Care Number 1 was a bright, shining example of, well, day care. The staff was friendly and super knowledgeable, it was clean and open, the programs for different age groups were stimulating and wonderful, and I loved it. Unfortunately, you pay quite a bit for that kind of greatness.

Day Care Number 2 paled in comparison. I arrived to a director who seemed surprised to see me, even though I’d made an appointment. I wasn’t introduced to anyone (including the director!). Infant care was explained and seemed adequate, but that was it…Number 1 gave me an overview of every age group and Number 2 did not. Everything appeared to be clean, but it didn’t have the bright openness of Number 1. But (and a big but) it’s affordable. Sigh.

I called Day Care Number 3, only to find out that there are no openings. The lady I spoke with said I sounded “really young.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I just kind of laughed. Guess that’s out.

I’ve been unable to find other day cares for babies in the area we live in, so we’re most likely to choose Number 2. We’re trying to stay away from private care because we’re not really going to have anyone to rely on if a private home care person gets sick or takes a vacation. And it doesn’t help that we know several people with babies who had negative private care experiences.

It’s just not what I imagined for myself as a mother. I never seriously considered being a working mother until I saw the positive pregnancy test. The kicker is that I only work part time. I won't even be away from the kid for 40 hours a week! But I had really, truly never given much thought to being a working mom. So this has been a lot about trying to change my perspective.

blessed

So…

There’s not going to be a new house. We’d done quite a bit of research and thought we had a decent idea of what the price would be. Yeah…we were wrong.

We now have to work on a serious home reorganization plan. I meant it when I said there’s very little room for baby. I may never get the nursery of my dreams now. Sigh…and you only get to have a nursery for such a short time. It kind of sucks.

However.

As previously mentioned, we are not lacking in material items. We have what is necessary (and probably more) to raise a child in a little house. I’ve been thinking of Costa Rica, when I spent about three months living with a host family of four in a home smaller than ours. They hosted students regularly, which usually made them a family of five. My host mama successfully raised two boys in that house, not to mention often taking care of an extra “son” or “daughter.” Neighbors with similar homes and more kids were doing quite well, too. And they had much less in the form of material items. I don’t think that they were always completely content with what they had, but they lived well all the same.

There will (God willing) be a new home one day. We still want to build; it’s just going to take longer than we had hoped.

a little room

We’re not going to have a nursery.

I (so far!) haven’t minded the repeated questions about being pregnant.

When are you due? What are you having? Are you excited? Is this the first grandchild?

But the nursery questions are getting hard…

Do you have the nursery ready? What are your colors? What’s the theme?

We don’t have a nursery. We don’t have colors. There is no room for a theme. There is literally no room. We can’t even put the crib together right now…because there’s no room! I feel like a bad parent every time I have to explain this. I wish we could be painting a bedroom and putting a crib together and buying fun baby décor. We’ll have to do some serious reorganizing to make room for a crib soon, but that’s about it.

We’re going to move. We hope, anyway; we’ve been looking into it for a while now. There will be an entire bedroom for baby sometime in the next eight to ten months, God willing.

This isn’t a serious problem. And people who ask me about the nursery are only asking a typical new baby question, so I can’t fault that. It just makes me feel inadequate every time I have to explain that we’re not preparing a baby room and won’t be able to for several months. Maybe it’s a new mom thing.

Good news - we have a nice house. We have an opportunity to move into a bigger house. We can get by without a bedroom. God is more than taking care of our material needs. AND I don’t have gestational diabetes! Failed the first test, but passed the second. :) I just need to remember these things every time I get a nursery question.