About a year ago, we came home to Knoxville after a visit to Fort Wayne. It was the first time in my life that I didn't think of leaving the Fort as leaving home.
If you know us, or have read this blog, you know Nathan and I never planned or wanted to leave Fort Wayne. Somehow, we both managed to spend all of our growing up years and early adulthood in that city. As a place, it was my firmest idea of home. It was a heartbreaking decision to leave. Before all three of us even moved to the new place in Illinois, we knew it probably wouldn't work long term. That realization came so quickly and unexpectedly.
I came to Tennessee pretty upset that we were even farther from Indiana. We never, ever intended to move twice. I hated it. After a few months of hard adjustment (and some helpful insight thanks to Just Moved! Ministries that moving actually is hard), one might say that I dragged myself into trying to make Knoxville home...I stubbornly didn't want to; I missed my idea of home terribly. But, my efforts worked. Knoxville became home. I really thought we'd spend the next fifteen years here. I suppose it only makes sense that now we have to leave.
I have no expectations of staying in Indianapolis long term. Our history now informs us that it's only a mere possibility.
The idea of home has been a mess for me these last four years. Like I said in the last post, I don't like learning from this. I put in so much work and dream so many long term dreams about home as a place and certain people just to leave them and have to start all over. I recognize the benefit of the lesson, though. I do believe that only God is constant, is everywhere, is unchanging, is home. And this experience is really *ahem* driving that home.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Daniel 7:14 ...And His kingdom is one which will not be destroyed.
Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
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